Some people are naturally incurable optimists. I have not been blessed with this gift. I'm not wired that way. I wish I was. However, I am constantly striving to put aside my inherent negative attitude towards optimism. I have grown leaps and bounds in my quest. But alas, I am still a work in progress.
I have learned much in my journey. I've learned to set aside the negative thoughts and feelings that are almost second nature in my brain and leave them in the dust. I have learned to train my mind to think positively and try to pull out the positive in just about any situation.
There was a time that people who were inherently happy or optimistic annoyed me. I felt as if they lived in a fantasy world, they did not see the world around them. They did not see all the suffering. That's what I told myself anyway.
But in the last five years I have been enlightened. In my professional organizing business I work with people in every walk of life. I have worked with a woman in a double wide mobile home, a business owner worth tens of millions of dollars, and everyone in-between. A big part of my work is helping other people better themselves, clearing out clutter, creating a positive environment in their homes and businesses. Bringing them order, simplicity and peace of mind that comes with clearing out excess has changed me for the better.
In the process I have also learned how to clean out my own excess baggagee. My excess clutter is not in material things, but rather in emotions. I preach optimism, hope, and strength to follow that light at the end of the tunnel. I've watched lives transformed. I have had many clients write me extremely thoughtful and kind appreciation letters and e-mails that have humbled me and given me strength.
And in turn I have gained a new way of thinking, a new knowledge, and greater strength. How can I teach others how to clean out their excess if I did not clean out my own emotional and spiritual bucket?
So am I now the type of person now that thinks every thing's great, glass half-full, cup overflowing? Not completely but getting there. I have now have many of these wonderful glass half full days than ever before.
Those days can be as simple as my husband and son laughing and we are all together. They are my piece of heaven on earth. Those dark days still come around but they are few and far between. So I would say I am still a realist but an optimistic realist.
The remarkable thing about this process is the amount of anger and frustration that has literally been lifted from my soul. I rarely let anything get to me. I strive hard when there are situations where someone treats me or my family rudely, or I may take something someone has said who had good intentions, the wrong way. I think about their point of view or point of reference, rather than how the delivery of the comment was presented, which is much easier than becoming defensive or taking offense. I find myself a calmer, kinder person. I will still freely bear someone elses burdens when asked to or prompted to do so, but I will no longer allow it to dictate my life.
Who am I to take on such a task of trying to will others to make good choices? Who am I to think I had the power to change them? Only the Savior has the power. So I've relinquished taking ownership in other people's problems, and it has been a wonderful freeing experience. Will I still help those who are in need of comfort? Absolutely. Well I bear other is burdens that are worth bearing? Without question. While I have compassion for those who for whatever reason continue to make the same mistakes over and over hoping for different results? You better believe it. What I will no longer do is ingest it, dissect it, or make it my mission in life to help others who will not help themselves.
Bearing these burdens and trying to "fix" poeple who didnt really want the help, have wasted a lot of my time that I could have spent improving myself and doing good for other people and my family.
This is also brought me much peace and brought me much closer to the Savior. It helps me understand the plan of salvation and our divine purpose in this life.
I know part of this journey towards ultimate optimism is for my son Jacob and his brother and sister who are waiting to join our family in Ghana. I feel the growth that I have gained in the last year has maybe surpassed any time in my life. Increasing my faith and putting my trust in God has been a life changing experience. Jeff and I have commented about the little miracles and help we've received along this journey towards bringing our children home to us. I would not trade the life lessons I have learned this year for anything.
So I trudge on, gaining an absorbing as much new knowledge as I can along the way. And being grateful for the knowledge of loving Heavenly Father who knows me personally, and knows what is best for me and my family. I hope my optimism is contagious, and you put your trust and faith in Him and gain this knowledge also.
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